I cant be stubborn anymore

its 2317 here... and i couldnt bring myself to sleep...
siting infront of the com browsing thru our pictures...
made me think of many things....
i didnt cry much today....
mayb... i couldnt cry anymore....
its suffering to push de drawings out with an empty heart...
heading to no direction....
i cried as i draw...
so hard....
but i manage to bring them all out....
n put on a show in Uni....
praises from the lecturer and students...
i text you to tell my time of presentation...
hoping so much you would wish me luck...
it came.... after i presented.....
but i still appreciated it....
its successful but i felt like crying....
i dunno who should i share the success with...
she is gone...

the whole day in Uni was miserable...
i didnt had any breakfast...
not even lunch....
i have no mood to eat....
just... walking alone on the grasses....
thinkin bout me n her....
crying is no use...
its useless Hong...
its useless....
The more you cry..... the more unhappy she feel...
The more you cry.... the more unhappy you feel...
I thought of lots of things....

hoping that she might give us a chance...
but thinkin back... y am i asking a chance?
if she is back to me empty hearted...
what is the use of having her back...
then i understand to love is not to have...
to have is not to love...
i need to brave myself to accept this reality...

back home chattin with her....
seeing her in webcam...
make me feel warm...
i love to feel close to her...
she is just... so important to me...
chatting with her bout our problems....
i realise... i cannot be stubborn already...
i cannot block her happiness....
and i need to carry on with my life....
i wonder too....
why do she keep asking me to care more for myself?
then i realise....
she still have me in her heart...
just.. a bit.

its alright...
now all i wish is she to be happy...
be happy and stay a cheerful girl....
you smile so sweetly and they really melt my heart...

you r right...
we r still young...
de world is big... we need to see the world...
breaking up now is not a bad thing...
at lease... it solve our problem...
let u search for ur own happiness...
and i can carry on with my ambition...
seeing more things and experiencing more things...
might let us learn bout our past....
mayb in future....
we meet new people....
maybe in future.... i changed.. or u changed...
maybe we will still fall for each other again....
lots of maybe....
it is not the end of the world...
there r so many posibilities that could happen...

i dunno will u notice my blog again...
but if u do...
do not be worry bout me...
same old phrase... do wat u wanna do to make urself feel happy...
never let anyone hurt you...
and bout me....
i will learn to care and love myself more...
i definitely will....