D.C.F.1.W.

Today....
i am able to calm myself down...
pass thru all those boring lectures....
just like nothing seems to get into my brain...
i know its hard....
but i need to learn to handle things separately....
i cannot mess things up and get nothin done.. no!

i am very off-minded today...
so much tat i wanted to text her so many times...
but i just nvr text her...
so much tat i wanted to call you.. laopo...
call you darling... lovely...honey...
but... i dunno...
i dun want you to ignore me more seeing those words...
i felt sad sending msgs tat didnt have replies...
its so painful in my heart...
but i know well enough i love her....

i wish so much tat my lecture end as soon...
its 4pm! which is 11pm to her d!!
pls!!! end quick!!! pls!!!!
i dunno why... i am confident she is waitin for me....
i am confident tat she will want to hear me to sleep....
i do know tat... i can really keep her warm and protected...
4.40pm! it finally ended! i rush down knowing the bus will be here at 4.35pm...
and..... i felt so terrible seeing the bus-stop to be empty...
i am totally heart-broken cos the next bus is at 5.05pm..
but its often late like crazy
lucky i get to reach home on time...
all i want is to spend my time with her...
and i dun want anythin like tat time to happen...
i will never let her wait for me endlessly and crying there again...

immediately i on skype and text you...
you didnt on so i called you....
hearing you soundless...
i know you must be really confused and not right already....
i felt sad but my heart is so heart-broken..
i am sorry for talking and scolding...
i am sorry...
but i just couldnt bear the pain in my heart...
i know you dunno how to make a choice here...
same to me... i dunno either...
i can c u feeling unhappy this moment...
mayb i should do sumtin to reduce your stress...
reduce both our problems...
mayb i should do sumtin...
for both you and me...
i took so much courage to say tat phrase out....
'D... C... F.. 1... W...'
but immediately i want to pull it back after i said it...
i dunno...
wat can i do?
will you be happy like tat?
will you feel better like tat?
i definitely wont.

be careful tmr...
if i am there...
i will definitely be able to fetch you home...
take good care of urself...

I know what am i happy of and is fighting for it...
but you should make up your mind for wat u r happy with...
we are a couple... we can tolerate n talk things out.