How Much I want you to be here....with me

Since the day i know i am able to study abroad to OBU..... i dunno what i am actually up to. I felt both happiness and sadness. I just dunno what to do. There are many questions came running down my mind. Especially every little one related to you. I do not dare to imagine what will happen in the time of that. I just hope it to be dashing over as fast as possible. Sometimes i would think of not going but... its so foolish to make that decision. Its so immature. I think whats important too is to plan for our future. Thats what true love mean, giving your love one de best of everything and most importantly love.

Maby i am so blindly in love. Mayb i am so deeply in love. But what is true is i am in love with her.
How much is it... it cant possibly be measured but how much i wish to do for her and for us.... i didnt know when to stop bcos its no need for a stop.

Its been the 4th day here and i am counting down for de days left here for me to go back and see her again...

being here... i have a handful of things i want to do....
performing in my studies.... get to know more ppl..... understan the place....
but nvr will i give less care bout caring and loving you as i always do...
saying goodbye is terrible... i hate goodbye...

21st sept 09 is like the worst day of my life....
its so lovely to spend de whole day with just her.....
i miss every little thing that we do together....
although its just a plain day like usual... but it means a whole lot to me..
i am being strong already.... i know its so ugly.. but...
i just cant stop de tears.... when i drop her off her home...driving lonely again...
i miss her..... really miss her like crazy....

then in de airport.... i cried again goin down de escalator...
i hope everythin will be here with me... but you... and my family....
just couldnt be by my side......

i know you are feeling what i felt too... i know its hard for you too...
thats y i told myself...i need to be strong... i need to....
i cant keep myself down bcos the one i love needs me...
i want to comfort her... take care of her... n love her with all i can...
i want to give her the care just like what i did always.....

in de plane.... i just couldnt fall asleep.....
a whole long journey... i hope to stop real fast at a country...
really want to text her... want to have her beside me....
thought i can use a movie to calm myself....
so much movies but i onli chosen a korean movie...

i watch it halfway.. but it already touched my heart....
its a romance story about a orphan boy grew up together with a gal....
when they r older... they are in love...
however... the male realise he develop a cancer sickness...
and will soon leave this place bringing with him... nothing...
understanding his situation... he only has one thing in mind....
the gal.... the future of the gal he love.....so much....
then he decided to find her a partner and create a happy life for her...
but actually... the gal already realised his sickness....
and all that she is thinkin is to fulfil his dream...
and finished up what she wishes to do most...
she acted to like the new guy.. got married and fulfiled his dream..
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and she commited suicide so to meet him in the other world....
this isnt a logical romance... isnt a postive act...
however it touches my heart...

Baby... i really hope you will be here with me...
so miss staring at you into ur pretty eyes...
so miss looking at you play the piano....
so miss disturbing you when u are seriously into hw...
so miss shopping and dining together....
so miss holding your hands....
so miss you baby.....
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its just to much to be listed here.....
i love you